Watching Emerson playing and my heart literally hurts because it is so full. I love him so much. I used to think it was silly when women would cry looking at their kids. Now I’m one of those women. I burst into tears when he smiles and bawl when he learns something new.
I have always wanted to be a mom. For as long as I can remember. When my mom was pregnant with my sister I would stuff a pillow under my shirt because I wanted to be a mama too. Looking back I think I may have been a strange 9 year old 😉
I always pictured meeting the man of my dreams, getting married and having babies. Lot’s and lots of babies.
Well I met a man, not the one from my dreams, he was more like a nightmare, dressed like a daydream (thanks T-Swift).
We didn’t get married. In fact he left me-best thing that could have happened. I
did have a baby-actually the best thing that happened.
The last few days Emerson has started to throw full blown tantrums. Throwing himself down, screaming, sobbing, hitting, throwing things etc. At first it really annoyed me and frankly pissed me off. He had no reason to do any of it and I thought he was being a brat. I would just ignore him and wait for him to be done or put him in his packNplay. After the third or fourth outburst I started paying closer attention to see what was causing the freak outs.
He is really smart and in my opinion advanced (again all parent’s feel this about their kid’s I’m sure) I realized he freaks out when he is frustrated. When he can’t get a toy that is stuck or he can’t reach a book or (totally ashamed of this one) when he wants my attention and I’m just not all the way there.
Since my “duh” MOMent, he still gets frustrated and screeches a little but I can see when the tantrum starts and kind of stop it or at least make it a little less traumatic than it would be if I let him go.
He has been baby babbling a lot more lately. He said an amazing amount of real word when he was small and has kind of stopped. Today he said “Tidder” and threw his Tigger to make him bounce. He loves to jump and dance and bit Tig. He LOVES Winnie The Pooh. He is a bit obsessed and I’m fine with that since there are so many crap shows out there, I’m glad he likes one of the good ones.
Enough rambling from me. It’s dinner time. Which I took some advice from a few wonderful mama friends about Emerson’s lack of eating and he his appetite is back!