The night everything changed

Given all the disgusting talk about what is happening-and has been happening with planned parenthood, I thought I would finally share the story of my pregnancy.

I met Emerson’s dad shortly after I moved to Seaside, Oregon. We worked for the same small company and we saw each other a lot, at different properties and the main office.

*For those of you who don’t know, I wanted needed a change after a lot of heartache and bullshit a few years ago. I just wanted to run away. I didn’t want to run too far because let’s face it I wanted to be able to come home if I needed to. So I picked Seaside.

By the end of July 2013, I was feeling really sick, throwing up-which I always attributed to being hungover, I was exhausted ALL the time. I didn’t think anything of it because I had had my period. On August 1st I was like, “Okay Amy. You’ve felt like crap for a week. You need to take a pregnancy test.” So I went to my neighbor Lainey and asked if she would run to the store to get me one because Seaside is a REALLY small town, where everybody knows everybody and gossip spreads faster than a wildfire. The last thing I needed was someone from work seeing me buying one. She went and got it, came back and I took it. I was crying the whole time. I was freaking out because up until that moment I had spent the last few months partying. I was drinking excessively and not taking care of myself.. I was worried all of that would harm the baby if I was pregnant. I remember looking at my best friend (she had moved to Seaside with me) and sobbing. I checked the test and it was positive. I didn’t believe it so I went to the store, bought 3 different brands. Came home took 4 more tests, all positive. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I remember calling my mom, who was starting a new job that night. I was bawling. All I could say was, “I’m pregnant.”

I didn’t sleep. I couldn’t. I had to tell ____. I was scared. I had the next day off. I called ____ and asked him if he could swing by when he had a chance because I needed to talk to him. When he got to my place I told him. He freaked out. Our situation was really complicated. *At this point in life, to protect Emerson and myself, I’m not going to post those details or his dad’s name* He said he needed to think and figure things out.

We didn’t talk for a few days. I cried. A lot. I panicked. I didn’t know how my family was going to handle it. _____ finally talked to me. Told me he was happy and wanted me to fully move to Seaside and that we would figure things out. I went home for a visit a few days later. My family took it pretty well. I packed up what was left in Seattle and brought a full uhaul back to Seaside. Within 2 weeks _____ broke up with me. He told me he didn’t want the baby. Didn’t want anything more to do with me and never wanted anything todo with our child. As well as many other things that crushed me.

I spent the next 2 months absolutely miserable. I was hiding my pregnancy, working full time, avoiding _____ and trying to find a good doctor. By the time I finished my 1st trimester I was ready to come home. So my bff and I packed up and moved

back to Seattle.

I haven’t seen or spoken to ____ since January 2014, when I was 7 months pregnant.

Not once did I consider abortion. Not once did I consider anything but keeping my precious baby.

I cannot imagine my life without my perfect boy. He has changed my world.

Emerson was Emerson the day I decided to have unprotected sex. Emerson was Emerson from day 1.
How anyone can believe otherwise completely boggles my mind.

Choose life.

❤My little guy at 16 weeks❤

Emerson Edward David Snyder
April 20th, 2014