I spend so much time and energy worrying about and over-thinking relationships.
I make myself sick, not just metaphorically speaking but I make myself legitimately sick stressing out about it. I lose sleep over it.
This is the stupidest thing in my life. I’m wasting time on people who don’t care. So starting today I am done.
I am tired of trying with people who don’t try with me. I’m worth so much more than that. Emerson is worth more than that. He doesn’t deserve part time people in his life.
I feel like my son is being punished because he doesn’t have a father. Which is so wrong. The fact that people can’t look past that is disgusting. The fact that people can’t see past whatever their issues are with me to spend time with Emerson is really gross.
I know life gets busy. It should NEVER be this hard to find a bit of time. Even an hour once a week…once a month… It’s only hard when you make it that way.
I feel like the only way to fix these problems is to confront the situations head on. There are two particular situations where I’m on my last attempt. I’m tired of Emerson being treated poorly. I don’t care if people treat me badly but when Emerson is affected by it, I have to put my foot down. I already feel like a failure as a mother because he won’t know his dad. I don’t need him feeling abandoned by other people. My baby deserves the world. I don’t want him to go through life being alienated.
To end this on a happy note, Emerson is not a fan of sitting in chairs. He gets creative!