My Sunshine!

I haven’t updated my Thankful list because there has been so much going on. That doesn’t mean I am not thankful, it just means that I have spent the last few days making phone calls, setting up appointments, having phone consults and am still trying to wrap my head around things and figure out the best steps to take.

Emerson is very smart. He is funny. He is perfect.

He was “early” with everything-except being born 😉

Rolling over, getting teeth, his first word, crawling, walking, the list goes on and on.

T

echnically dada was his first word, but since he doesn’t know his “dada” it was really just a noise. He went from that to mama, hi, hair, dog, woof, up, down, wahoo, ball.

Some big changes happened and one day he stopped talking. He went from a bunch of words back to baby babble.

Fast forward to now, we’re settled in at my grandparent’s house and he is slowly talking again. He is saying Mama and finally started saying No, which I am sure most parent’s aren’t thrilled about but I honestly wouldn’t care if he was saying the F-word.

He had his 18 month doctor’s appointment last Friday and his doctor (who I LOVE!! If you are in my general area and looking for a pediatrician message me and I will get you her info, she is the best!!) and I had a really good, but hard (for me) conversation. She suggested he be seen by a specialist, to rule out any issues we can’t see. She is worried about speech delay and possibly a hearing issue.

One of my brothers had a benign tumor in his ear drum (we grew up in South Africa which was lacking in medical technology in the late 80’s-early 90’s, pair that with being dragged back and forth between the US and ZA) it went undetected for some time and because of that he is now completely deaf in that ear. He never let it bring him down, he never complains, most people who know him probably have no idea. From what I know the type of tumor he had isn’t hereditary, but as his sister and now being a mom that was one of the first things I thought of.

As a parent, finding out that something might be wrong with your baby is terrifying. You never imagine being in a position where you can’t help or fix the problem. I feel like a failure. I feel like I should have seen this sooner. I kept thinking it was just normal regression because of what was going on. There may be nothing wrong. There may be something wrong. No matter what we will get through it. I have a good support system. I have my family, who are being so supportive, I have a few really good friends, who have been and continue to be emotional crutches for me. Emerson has the best pediatrician, who is always available for me.

Appointments have been made, unfortunately the place we were referred to has a huge wait list because it is so good. His appointment isn’t until the new year. One of the places walked me through some things and said because he mimicks and copies the noises and sounds we make, it shows that it is more than likely not a hearing issue. Until he is seen by the specialist I won’t feel at ease.

I have been getting so frustrated lately when he throws tantrums, I know part of it is his age, but now I see so much of it is because he can’t communicate. His doctor pointed out that she could see he was trying to form words to tell us something but it wasn’t connecting and so he was getting upset. I have spent the last 5 days really trying to focus and see what happens when he gets angry or frustrated and I am seeing so often that he wants to tell me something and because he can’t he crys or throws a toy. It really breaks my heart.

I am going to be focusing all of my time and energy (not sure that’s possible since I am already with him 24/7) on Emerson, so if I don’t answer your call/text/email/message right away that’s why.

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