I wouldn’t have nothing, if I didn’t have you. 

As Emerson’s third birthday, let me repeat that, THIRD Birthday approaches (I have had every mama feeling there is to have about it) I have been thinking about how truly blessed I am. 

Emerson saved me. I was not in a good place when I got pregnant, but finding out I was carrying this perfect little miracle changed everything. He is the absolute best thing to ever happen to me. I am so thankful and so proud to be his mama.

The way he grows and changes every day just blows my mind. He never ceases to amaze me.
He makes me laugh so hard. He makes me cry, because I am so happy and so proud of the smallest things he does. He has given me a few, okay a bunch of gray hairs. He is adventurous and free spirited. 

His eagerness and thirst to learn is incredible. He wants to help everyone with everything. The way he loves others makes me beam. He has such a willingness to serve, even at such a young age. His heart is so good and so kind. 

My heart breaks when he asks about his dad. I am still working on that conversation. I wish I could save him from that inevitable pain. 

I love that way his eyes crinkle when he thinks something is funny. How he hunches over with laughter and grabs his belly. I love his creativity and persistence. He’s so good at problem solving and figuring out new ways to make something work.

I wish I could slow down time a little or a lot. I wish I could relive some days over and over just to see the look of excitement, to get a little more snuggle time. Some times, on the hard days I want to erase certain moments and get a do-over. A do-better. 

I love his want to be independent. Which is tough because I am 100% a #helicopterMom and always right there. I love his attention to details. The way he sees the world in his own unique way. I love that he likes to take time to check out each flower, pet each dog, call each birdie and attempt to climb each tree on our walks. 

We got his hair cut today, for the first time and I cannot believe how grown up he looks. 

Makes me a little sad because he’s a big boy now and doesn’t really need mama for much. He falls asleep on his own, likes to get himself dressed, always telling me, “I do, Mom!” 

As much as I am loving and holding onto him being so small. I am so excited for the future. I can’t wait for soccer, basket and baseball practices. I am excited to see if his love of music turns into him wanting to play and instrument. I can’t wait to see his personality grow and change. I’m excited for all of it. 

There is the little tinge of pain, knowing that he is more than likely going to be my only baby. It makes each moment that much better, but also that much harder.

I cannot believe we’re going to be celebrating his 3rd birthday in just a few weeks. These have been the hardest, scariest, craziest, funniest, best three years of my life! 

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